Hey, listen, I’m really sorry about your husband. Trust me, I know how much it sucks to lose someone you love. I was seeing this guy for a while (as in, looking at him) and he was totally beautiful. I mean, he was tall, dark, handsome, I mean he had everything. You would’ve been floored. Anyway, I asked him to prom and he goes, “Sorry, I’m actually transferring to another school.” I guess that’s what I get for asking seven months in advance. Really hot guy, though. It’s a shame he had to flee the country at such a young age.
Oh, really? I didn’t know he was cheating on you! But boy, do I know something about cheating. I cheated on my eye exam once. I memorized the first couple rows and…oh, you’ve heard this one before? I just don’t remember who I’ve told what. I–Oh yeah, I have been telling you that one since elementary school! I’m sorry.
And he took all your money? Wow. I…well, that’s pretty horrible, sorry. But look on the bright side: I was able to survive poverty. I was so broke when I was little. I remember when my father lost his consulting job. We couldn’t go to the movies. We had to rent movies and watch them on our big-screen! If I can get through that, I’m sure you can, too.
Dude, don’t say things like your life is over because nobody’s listening or willing to help you. I’m totally willing. You can tell me anything, I promise. I will always be here, and seriously, I am a great listener. But don’t call me between 6pm and 8:30pm. That’s me time.
You are naturally forgetting the delicious unintentional schadenfreude upon hearing that the world is not soley against you, but in fact, against everyone. The main thing assholes tend to do is give their sob story and not tie it back to the person actually having a hard time. So I see where from where you’re coming.