I’m sorry to hear about your wife. And, I want you to know that, no matter what you need or what it takes, I will be there. I come to you not as a friend, or colleague, or the woman you cheated on her with, but as a human. A human being.
See, I would drive you to the hospital, but I have some errands. I haven’t gone shopping in a while and I only have half a tub of Haagen-Dazs left in my freezer and I need to re-stock. Tell you what, I’ll pray that God will find you a ride. I just want you to know you’re in my thoughts. Maybe God will find you a bus route or something. I mean, people say time and time again that He manages to be more responsive to their concerns than I. I wonder what people mean by that…
I was thinking about getting you flowers with a nice little “hope she gets better” card or something. Flowers are the second best thing for proving the significance of your friendship. When you’re stressed or feeling bad, I don’t even have to come see you. I can go online, and have some odorous, allergenic flowers delivered to you. And since they require upkeep, it gives you more to stress about. Good stuff. Still, I enjoy prayer more than flowers: it’s cheaper, and I can do something for you without having to see you. And I know you don’t like being seen when you get all sad and stuff, so it all works out.
I believe my prayers for people are heard. I know that very rarely do things go my way because I pray for them to, and I’ll never know if anyone up in the sky hears me, but that’s not really what it’s about. You’re in my thoughts, and, I mean, it’s the thought that counts. See! The thought that counts, not the actual gesture. Alright; off to pray, bye! Hope your wife lives!
nice