Get it? Get it? I’m a…listen…I’m a shit head. I know, right? DUDE! I can’t wait to go into work tomorrow. All the other White House staffers are gonna be like, “Get a load of this guy.” You gotta admit, it’s pretty awesome that I managed to do it myself. Like, so far as I can tell, it looks pretty accurate…thing is I can’t tell, really, because the back of your own head is probably the hardest place to look with only the use of your eyeballs. So, judging from the reactions I’ve been getting, I’m going to guess it looks pretty good. Actually I don’t know what reactions I’ve been getting, because I can’t really see behind me, at least when I’m walking down the street. Unless I turn my head or turn around, but when do I ever do that? I saw my girlfriend scoff and look kind of upset, but only because I was shaving and I saw her walk into the bathroom through the medicine cabinet mirror. “I hope you’re not shaving a vagina into your beard or something,” she said. She’s pretty smart, which is great, but I hate when she ruins my surprises for her. Then she asks how people have reacted to it, and I said, “I don’t know, all I can really do is hear people’s reactions…I can’t really see them.” (I would have said, “Does it look like I have eyes on the back of my head?”, but that wasn’t clever enough for me. Maybe if I’d followed it up with, “I may not have eyes there, but at least I have a pooping guy on the back of my head…,” that would have been clever. But maybe the pooping guy technically has eyes. Unless he’s a blind pooping guy, and that’s why he’s not pooping into a toilet…well, that doesn’t work, because blind people usually have eyes, they’re just broken, so, I don’t know…either way, they’re not real eyes, so it probably doesn’t count.)
Well anyway, since I only hear people’s reactions, what do they say? Thing is, I don’t really know. I have headphones on most of the time. Not earbuds, I mean big headphones. Sometimes when I have them off they cover the entire guy’s head and neck, which is poor planning on my part, I suppose. Should’ve taken into account that I wear this very large, obtrusive dome-piece accessory before I shaved my head to have a pooping guy on it.
Now I can’t wait to see what it looks like as my hair starts growing back in. Maybe it’ll look geographical or something. If only Africa looked like a pooping guy, right? And then the poop could be those little African islands that come off of Africa. Oh, we’ll see. We’ll see how people react…to geography.
